The Abomination
by Modest Jonathan
Summary: All your SVU heroes staring as... A HOTEL CLEANING SERVICE.


This story is dedicated to Ranowa Hikura, who called one of my other stories "abominable."

SCENE I

Red-headed Casey Novak rushed into the Sefton von Ulrich Hotel in a hurry, a train of bags in tow. She was in a hurry to check into her room because she had to be downtown in less than an hour for a court case. Casey had just flown in from Wisconsin, where she was visiting an old family friend. The flight had been delayed because of an unexpected snow storm in New York, hence her rush. Casey approached the clerk at the front desk, an elderly man without a neat and trim tuxedo and a bright orange bow tie. "Good afternoon," she said tersely, "I would like to check into my room." "Ah yes, Ms. Novak," he intoned politely. "We have been waiting for your arrival. I take it the weather is responsible for your timing?" "It is," Casey replied, trying to not sound too impatient. She had a fondness for the clerk, Mr. Drawson. He was a nice old fellow and always provided courteous conversation, sometimes even helping her with her luggage when the regular assistants were busy. "Yes," she repeated, "the snow storm delayed my flight about three hours. I have to be down at the courthouse for that Dannager and Cole case at four thirty, though." Without requiring further elaboration Mr. Drawson took Casey's hint and said, "Well, you must be in some hurry, I won't hold you up. Your room, 328, is prepared as usually, although I must mention that the Sefton von Ulrich has recently experienced a complete restaffing of our cleaning staff, so you may be seeing some new faces. "All right, thank you very much Mr. Drawson," Casey replied, and hurried off to the elevators. Casey had roomed in 328 since her first stay in the Sefton von Ulrich, about three years ago, because it was the only room in the entire hotel that was furnished with lime green and purple wallpaper, her favorite colors. She jumped and tapped her feet together gleefully just thinking about it, just as the elevator doors opened. She squeezed into the elevator next to a very old and withered looking bald man, whose name tag read 'Don.' The man was crammed behind a cleaning supplies cart, and looking positively inscrutable. "Hiya," he muttered in an ancient voice. "Good day," Casey replied, jovially, the anticipation of her room's decor still filling her with giddiness. "You must be new her," she continued as she pressed the button for floor three. "Just hired about a week ago," the man said monotonously. "Used to work downtown, but the building burned down and me and all my co-workers had to find new work." "Oh, I'm sorry," said Casey, "was it a hotel?" "No, no hotel," the man said mysteriously. Before Casey could inquire further the elevator doors opened and Casey excused herself. She was in a hurry, after all. _324,__326,__328,__finally_, she thought. Casey turned the key in the lock and let herself in, speeding into the familiar room. She did a little dance before setting her luggage down and unpacking. She would have to put on more formal clothes before heading downtown to the court. Just as she pulled out the blue shirt and black pants she was going to wear there was a knock on the door and a voice called, "Room service." Casey, preoccupied, hollered back, "Come in." A middle-aged women with wavy brown hair and deep brown eyes pushed a cart in with cleaning supplies, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am," she apologized, "I'd didn't realize you were in here." "Don't be!" Casey replied, unwilling to give an uncongenial impression to the new cleaning staff, I'm just on the way out. Feel free to stay, I'll only be a minute." The women nodded in understanding and began inspecting her cart for some cleaning implement. Casey turned and proceeded to hunt through her suitcases for her favorite pair of shoes. _I__know__your__in__here__somewhere_, she thought. Just as she found her shoes a sound reached her ears, a hated and loathed sound. Not just any sound, but _that_ sound. The sound of a vacuum cleaner. Casey's eyes bulged and she whirled around in a terror. The cleaning women was wielding a handheld vacuum cleaner and waving it back and forth. "AHHHHHH!" Casey screamed, utterly terrified. She leapt into the air wildly and stumbled backwards, crashing through the glass of the window and toppling down three stories into the freezing water of the Sefton von Ulrich swimming pool with a splash.

SCENE II

Kasey Nowak slowly peeled her eyelids open, so painfull they were. "Wh-where am i?' breathed.

'In the hos-pi-tal" said a women's voice. You fell outa the window, i am so sorry. it was all my fault."

Kasey: huh, no, no, i'm sure it wasn't your fault, her memory still fuzzy. and then, "OH MY GOD YOU SCARED ME WITH A VACUUM CLEANER YOU EVIL WOMEN

I'm so sorry said the other women. Just than the dokte walked in, and said, 'Miss. Novac I see you R finally awake. I'm glad. It's a good thing. It's a wery good things. Now, let me tell you some thingas. You fell out of a window and into a swimming poool. The water was very cold and you nearly froze to death if this women hadnt saved your ass. she is a very nice women and u shuld buy her flowers or somethingas. SHe is a very nice. you got hypothermia from the water and so we put you in the hotel sauna of the sefton von ulrich hotel for a few hours and then the nice women carried you in here just to be safe. she is also very strong. so now you're all better

This whole time Kasee hadn't heard a word of the dokte's speech because she had immediately fainted upon recaling the terrifying vacum noise and yet because this story is written from her POV that's what is behind the dialogue being so messed up grammar because she fainted. Anyway

SCENE III

Casey opened her eyes for the second time, squinting out into the hospital room.

"What happened?" she asked.

The strong and kind cleaning woman was still there and said, "You fainted."

"Oh, THAT'S right," Casey said, remembering the hideous noise of the vacuum. This time, however, she didn't faint. "I'm sorry," she said. "I've always been so afraid of vacuums because when I was young my older brother would use them to terrify me and I would run away. I especially hated it when that big vacuum hose would try to pull in arms and stuff. I just really get scared by that noise."

"It's all right, my _dear_," the women replied. "I feel like it was completely my fault, and I'll do anything to make you feel better now."

"Thank you," said Casey, and then she looked into the woman's deep and loving brown eyes, deep as an eternity and as mysterious as the night sky, and said, "say, what's your name?"

"Olivia Benson," the women cooed.

"You know," Casey said, "I think I want to marry you. But no vacuum cleaners."

END


End file.
